January 08


Home Sweet Home Day 2


I remember having dreams in Spanish. I don’t really know Spanish so it was probably some made up language my brain came up with but it was weird. I think it had something to do with wearing a wedding dress and being chased but I can’t remember all the details. I woke up groggily at around 7am to the sound of a bunch of spanish people talking really fast. It took me a second to orient myself at Yolanda’s house.


I had no idea where Yolanda was but Yolanda’s mom quickly found me and put me to work putting the flowers in all the vases. They were all speaking spanish around me but I found the sound of it soothing. They all knew English too so whenever I had a question they were able to answer but they quickly went back to speaking spanish.

Once we had put together all the vases which took about an hour and a half, I told them goodbye and that I’d see them at the venue to help decorate. I had promised my dad that I would have breakfast with him.

When I got to my dad’s place, he popped his head out of his bedroom and said, “Good, you’re here. We forgot strawberries yesterday. Would you mind going to the store and grabbing some?”

I stopped by Albertson’s. I was wearing the same clothes that I had been the day before but I didn’t really care.

I came back with the strawberries and my dad had already set the table all pretty. There was a small Christmas tree and fancy plates and cups. My dad was busy making Belgian waffles.

We had breakfast and of course I had seconds. We did more small talk. And then my dad cleaned up.

We quickly settled on the couch and we found a Judge Judy marathon on tv. This was entertaining for both of us because my dad used to be a lawyer and he likes to criticize the plaintiffs and defendants. I just think it’s funny how upset he gets and that alone pretty much made it worth my while.


Soon I had to get ready for Yolanda’s wedding. I put on the mint green dress all the bridesmaids were wearing. I put on makeup and heels and headed out the door.

I arrived at the venue to find nobody there. I went to Yolanda’s parents and everybody was doing everything everywhere. It was chaos. The vases were getting packed into the trucks. The food was being packed into containers. Somehow people started filling up my car with things. It was a big flurry of wedding preparation.

We eventually get everything packed and headed to the venue. We’re all quickly setting up the tables as fast as we can. A lot of it had been prepped the night before but there was still quite a lot to do that afternoon.

I should’ve waited to put on my heels but excitement got the better of me. Within an hour I couldn’t wear them anymore. I went around the next hour barefoot helping put things in place.

It was an hour before the wedding now. All the bridesmaids had shown up and we finally got Yolanda to stop putting things together so she could get dressed for her wedding.

She put her dress on and she was so beautiful. It had a sweetheart neckline with sheer beaded long sleeves with a poof at the top that reminded me of the 80’s. The dress cascaded in an A-line that perfectly accentuated her small waist and had a train that gave it a very traditional look. I was so happy for her.


The wedding planner came into the room and rushed all the bridesmaids out to get them ready to walk down the aisle. We went outside. The music had already started playing and the groomsmen were already headed to the altar.

I know it wasn’t my wedding but I was still so nervous. It was a long walkway and there was so much time to trip and ruin everything. By the way, I had put my heels back on for this. We all suffer for the people we love, right?

Gratefully, I made it to my place next to the altar without tripping. Next came the flower girls and the ring bearer.

Everyone stood up as Yolanda started walking toward the altar. It was the song “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele. Yolanda had liked it so much the night before that she decided to walk down the isle to it. Everyone was staring at Yolanda but I couldn’t keep my eyes off Glenn.

He was crying so badly.

I thought to myself, I want that. I want a man who completely loses it when he sees me all dressed in white about to promise my entire life to him. And I was so happy that Yolanda had finally found that for her.

It was a beautiful and short ceremony, just how it should be.

They walked down the aisle, now blissfully married, ready for the rest of their lives.

I walked behind them hoping that maybe some of their love and grandeur would wash over me. If only….

But the party was just about to get started. Cocktail hour happened and the pictures were taken. Now was the time for the grand entrance.


I was paired up with Yolanda’s little brother Ethan. We burst into the room like we were gangsters and made it to the dance floor and did our super duper ultra hip secret handshake that we had come up with minutes before.

The rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen followed with different moves, one of which was where the groomsman pretended to be a runway model and the bridesmaid was the photographer. We were all pretty cool.

Yolanda and Glenn made their grand entrance.

Time for the food, the glorious glorious homemade Mexican food. I ate to my hearts content, which admittedly isn’t much these days thanks to the drugs I’m on but it still made me happier than I’ve been in a while.

I chowed down on food and chatted with the other bridesmaids. We small talked about Avatar: The Last Airbender, graduating college, and investing in stocks weirdly enough. I guess we’re getting older.

The wedding planner approached me. It was time for my song.

It had been a while since I had performed in front a decent crowd of people so I could feel the nerves but I had done this hundreds of times before. I’m a professional. I made a speech about how Yolanda had been my best roommate and support and how much I loved her. Then I crooned out Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love”.

I got a nice round of applause and then I sat down to let the rest of the speeches to be made. I had one bridesmaid whisper I sounded like Adele. Another told me I should be on The Voice. I thanked them but if I had a nickel for every time I heard someone tell me both of those things…

I enjoyed watching Yolanda in the spotlight. Living with her I knew she was a very shy person but she was completely different with Glenn by her side. She was confident in herself. She was laughing, smiling, and she even made a speech herself. I had met this Glenn guy for maybe ten minutes but I wholeheartedly approved.

And for five minutes I was completely jealous of what she had.


But the dancing had started. I’ll be honest, I’m usually a dancing fiend but I was running on what felt like six hours of sleep. Six hours of sleep and hypersomnia don’t mix well. I danced with the bride and bridesmaid for what felt like a polite amount of time and then I went to sit down. I passed the time taking selfies and catching up with old friends I hadn’t seen in years.


It was finally 10 o’clock and I was barely holding it together at this point. I was seriously considering ditching before the bride and groom left, even if I was a bridesmaid. I had to give myself a mini pep talk to get me through the next half hour.

They started handing us the sparklers and lined us up for Yolanda and Glenn’s goodbye. Unfortunately we were a little sparkler-happy and we all lit them up only to have them burn out before the bride and groom got outside.

Round 2. They passed out another set of sparklers. (Thank goodness they had a ton) The sparklers were lit up and Yolanda and Glenn made it to their very decorated car. They waved goodbye as we waved back.

As much as I had been wanting to leave suddenly I didn’t want to have to say goodbye to all the friends I had run into. They were all apart of a life that I sorely missed and for one night it felt good to pretend I had it back. I gave big squeezes as I said goodbye, wondering how many years it would be before I saw them again.

I got in my car and headed back to my dad’s. I walked through the door and my dad had made cookies. As tired as I was, I knew my dad wanted to spend time with me. I stayed up another half hour eating cookies and watching crime television with my dad.

And then I passed out.