An Open Letter to the Guy I Used to Date

Last week was a rough week. I have had this stomach bug where I’ve just felt nauseous all week and my sleep pattern is just way off. On a scale of one to tired I’m at exhausted. And to top it all off, I finally had “the talk” with this guy that I’ve sort of been seeing. The talk didn’t go as I had hoped. I wanted more and he wanted to be friends, such is life. But I still have all these emotions and I just need to get things off my chest.

I don’t know if he’ll ever see this. I still haven’t decided if I’ll tell him about this but I just need to have this exist somewhere.

quill

….

“So it didn’t work out. That’s okay.

I won’t pretend I’m not disappointed. You’re awesome and amazing and brilliant and I know you’re going to do great things.

And my opinion won’t change on that. I know I’m going to have girls’ nights to help me get  through this rejection but I won’t say you’re stupid, you’re ugly, or you obviously have no common sense if you don’t want to get with this. I won’t say you’re crazy, or you’re blind, or that I could do better than you. I won’t belittle you to save my wounded pride.

And I hope you’ll do the same.

I know you didn’t have the same feelings I had but I had them. I cared about you. Granted it wasn’t love but it was definitely a “strong like”. I hope you understand I’m a little broken because it didn’t work out.

But don’t worry too much about me. Rejection is a part of this whole process. You weren’t the first guy to do it and you’re probably not the last.

In fact, the same day you said you wanted to be just friends I had to call another guy and tell him the same thing.

We all win some and lose some and today I lost out on a really great guy.

I want you to know that I regret nothing.

I don’t regret the time I spent with you or the anxiety I had waiting for you to ask me out again. I don’t regret the way you made me feel or the many times I asked you out. I don’t even regret the fact that this didn’t work out.

I think deep down I knew this wasn’t going to work. There were little signs here and there but I completely ignored them because I was determined to be in a relationship.

I do know that was a mistake and I’m sincerely grateful you were able to take the signs for what they were and were able to make the right decision about us.

There’s still that sting of rejection though. You didn’t think I was pretty enough or funny enough or smart enough.

I mean, I think I’m all of those things. Honestly, I’m a catch.

I’m just not your catch.

But one of these days, there will be somebody who thinks I’m all of those things and then some. And I can’t wait for that day.

Until then, I have had so much fun spending time with you and getting to know you and I know I’m better off because of it.

I guess, just, better luck next time.”