Meet Niagra. Niagra is a strong and powerful woman. From the moment I met her she was all about leading a happy lifestyle despite her mental illness. She’s been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder for a little over a year now.
“I was relieved when I was first diagnosed. Of course I was in denial first. I didn’t want to have Bipolar Disorder. There was a huge stigma to it that having this illness makes me crazy. But I don’t like to think like that. I like to think that having this illness is like having an exaggeration of all human emotion. And I think that can be really nice sometimes. Like when I’m manic it’s nice to feel manic and on top of the world and so creative and that I can get everything done. At the same time, in a weird twisted way, it’s nice to feel depressed, because when you’re depressed you can work out why you’re depressed and this is where people really get to know themselves. It doesn’t define me but I am thankful for it.”
“I’m very open with people about having Bipolar Disorder. First off, I’m a very open person. I don’t like to hide things. But then there’s how I act. I am happy and manic sometimes and a couple hours I’ll be disappointed with something and there’ll be no rhyme or reason to it. My friends will notice, it’s not something I can hide so I’m just upfront with them from the beginning so they know where my feelings are coming from.”
“Essential oils are what helps me manage my emotions. If I’m having anxiety they will help me calm down. If I’m feeling sad or discouraged they will help lift me up. I have essential oils I just bought and they’re called ‘an emotional kit’. They have oils for peace, cheer, happiness, or motivate. And they just help me get through the day. I compare them to someone with asthma needing an inhaler. These oils are my inhaler.”
“I would say my best quality is spirituality. I feel like I’m very connected to the Holy Spirit. I think seeing the best in other people. For example, at my job, I work with one-year-old’s. A lot of people get frustrated with one-year-old’s because they’ll wipe poop all over the wall or they’ll chase you with a booger. To me, when you have kids this young who are coming straight from their mother’s womb, they’re just figuring out life that’s the most beautiful think to watch. They’re so excited about life. They don’t have much to do but they’re excited about life every morning. They’re so quick to forgive and be happy and I wish we could all have the wonder that one-year-old’s have.”
“I also like how I can find a lesson in everything, like even through trials. Like I’m going through a trial right now of loneliness. Most people will complain about being lonely or they’ll be like ‘ugh. I don’t have a boyfriend’ or ‘everyone’s getting married’ or ‘I’m never getting married’. I’ve just been spending time with friends or spending time at home but I choose to look at the life lesson being taught in that trial. I like that I can look at the bright side of things even when I’m in darkness.”
“I believe that there are several soulmates out there for us. I don’t believe we’ll meet each one of them though. I think we make choices and from our choices we’re led to the soulmate that’s going to fit us the best. For instance, if I’m a happy person that loves everybody and makes the most of her life, I’m going to meet somebody that’s happy and loves everybody and makes the most of his life. If I’m negative, I’ll find a negative soulmate. Like attracts like.”
“For me, I think that beauty has to do with countenance. I don’t think it has to do with being a certain size, shape, color, or status. I just think it has to do with your countenance. I know it sounds really cheesy almost to say this but I feel if you’re a good person on the inside your personality kind of becomes your face. I was talking about this with a friend but sometimes you’ll talk to people and you’ll think to yourself ‘they’re alright, they’re okay’ but you’ll see their movements and their idiosyncrasies and you’ll start to see their personality and it becomes their face. And that’s why you see people that physically aren’t beautiful but the more you get to know them the more attractive they become and I think that goes the same way when you meet a really attractive person and they just have no personality, they become dull to you. Beauty is definitely soul deep.”
“Oh yeah. I would define myself as beautiful. I think I’m beautiful physically and spiritually. It took a long time to get to that point but I’m there now. I think we all struggle with that question though. What really helped was not focusing on my appearance and focusing more on myself morally. I realized when I prayed more and read my scriptures more and felt closer to God, when I was good at my job, when I was a good daughter, friend, sister I felt more beautiful when I was like that. And when I’m negative, I feel ugly. I think happy people are beautiful and when I’m having an awesome day I think I’m knockout.”
“To sum me up in one sentence it would be ‘I am nothing but through God I can do everything.”
“I’m writing a journal write now and that’s something I would like to leave behind. I want to leave behind a good story that my children, and my children’s children can read. I want to give them something magical that will leave them with hope. I want my story to tell them that even through hard times and guilt and all the bad things you will go through in life there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always hope. I want to tell them that they can live a magical life. Everyday they can live a magical life.”
To Niagra. A spiritual crusader.